God The Merciful, I Understand That U Always Give The Best For Me...
Injury & Doubt That I Experienced, There Is Certainly Wisdom Behind All.
Teach Me To Remain Faithful & Patient Waiting For The Arrival Time That U Have Specified...
(Amien.....)
Terkadang aku sering bertanya dalam hati, kenapa orang begitu mudah mengucapkan janji jika akhirnya itu hanya melukai hati orang yang dicintai…
Apa janji itu hanya sebatas ucapan yang tak bermakna yang tak wajib untuk ditepati…Seandainya aku menemukan jawabnya darinya…
Apa benar ketika cinta kita terkhianati itu juga karena kesalahan kita, karena tak mampu menjadi seperti yang diinginkan oleh pasangan kita??
Aku pernah menanyakan itu padanya, apa semua ini terjadi karena kesalahanku karena aku kurang memperhatikannya atau karena aku tak bisa seperti yang dia inginkan…
Dan dia lirih menjawab, ¨kamu sama sekali ga salah, aku yang salah…”.
Ketika aku mengatakan, aku ingin menunggunya, dia mencoba membunuh harapanku, dia mengucap kata yang tak pernah aku inginkan keluar dari bibirnya,
¨kamu terlalu baik, penyabar dan mulia untukku say…. jangan menungguku, masa depanmu akan jauh lebih baik jika tanpa aku¨…
Aku hanya ingin mendengarnya memintaku menunggunya untuk mewujudkan mimpi yang pernah kami rajut bersama tapi lama aku tunggu kata itu tak juga terucap..
Apa dia tau sampai hari ini aku masih merindukannya, merindukan senyumannya juga tatapan matanya yang takkan pernah aku miliki…
now im starting 2 wonder... what will conclusion be? what will happen in the end of everything ? does he take this seriously? hufftt....................
I just need to feel like someone wants to put me first, someone wants to put some focus and attention on me, on making me happy, on seeing me smile, on loving me. But then I think how can anyone do that when I am not loving myself right now. It's all a front. Low self esteem is happening to me RIGHT NOW.
How do I get out of this? Who can I talk to? I don't want anyone, even my closest friends, to know I'm suffering from the same things I always tell them don't matter. I'm looking at the other chicks, the other ones that always seem to go before me thinking I'm not pretty enough, light skinned enough, slim enough, interesting enough, educated enough, ethnic enough. What am I then? I feel like a nothing.
My heart knows no bounds. It gives without question or reason of why. It pours forth all that it has, love in unwavering abundance and all only for you. It has no fear, it matters not that it could be hurt, wounded, or devastated by changing events, times, or circumstances - it only knows that its source of life is you and will forever enrich your life so that it might someday be complete. On it’s own my heart has the innocence of a new born wanting, needing, and only understanding you - and without comprehension of the world around it.
My heart if left to its own devices would crawl in the world search for you and when it reached your door it would never see an obstacle in its way… it would just take you for eternity.I am so truly thankful that you were intrigue enough by my practice distance and kept probing for a desirable responsible. I am even more thankful for you not running away ‘fast’ when you chipped through the layers of built up armor and found the well of repressed passion deep inside just dying to be shared.
I know this from my heart to be true, as I have spent so long on a road leading nowhere,
No interests or desires, no wants or needs, neither asking or needing from anyone. So alone, yet never knowing loneliness, I knew not that something was missing from my life, until you, I have come to understand, you have made me understand that life must be shared or is no life at all. A whisper caught my ear, ever so faintly, a whisper of your name entered my life… never to disappear.
If you've just had a break-up and are feeling down, you're not alone. Just about everyone experiences a break-up at sometime, and many then have to deal with heartbreak — a wave of grief, anger, confusion, low self-esteem, and maybe even jealousy all at once. Millions of poems and songs have been written about having a broken heart and wars have even been fought because of heartbreak.
A journey of grief - losing a soulmate and the path to emotional stability. This is a daily journal of thoughts, sadness, bewilderment, joy, frustration and pain as a therapeutic way to express and release. Please feel free to comment, because then I know someone is out there. And that also helps............
