hmm... lagi-lagi aku terbawa suasana, mood ga stabil, kadang naik kadang turun.
kali ini aku pengen curhat tentang seseorang yang sangat aku sayang (perasaan dr kmaren2 ni blog curhatan mulu isinya yaa, hehehee... )


Yang selama ini pernah menjadi bagian terindah dalam hari hariku..
Seseorang yang selalu menjadi tempat berkeluh kesah..
Yang menyejukkan hati kalau mendengar suaranya..

Seseorang yang juga menjadi tempat untuk membuang rasa marah, abis dia memang suka bikin kesel
dan dia juga sering marah2 ga jelas, apalagi klo lagi moody ga jelas maunya apa...




Entah apa namanya...
yang jelas aku sudah melepaskannya seperti apa yang dia inginkan pada 20 januari 09, 5 hari sebelum hari ultahku.

Yaa.. pedih memang, kalau aku sudah benar-benar melepaskannya
seperti burung yang terbang diangkasa...
seperti pelangi yang muncul selepas hujan...


Indah dilihat...
Tapi aku tidak bisa menyentuhnya..
Hanya bisa duduk diam terpaku..
Dan menikmati keindahannya dari jauh saja…

Harusnya aku ikhlas..
Harusnya aku bahagia..
Karena dengan melepaskannya aku tidak kehilangan apa apa..
Karena aku harus belajar, dengan melepaskan segala sesuatu dalam artian mengikhlaskan apa adanya tanpa tali yang mengikat..
Akan membuat seseorang dekat dengan keutuhan..
Membuatnya merasa nyaman dan tentram...

Tapi kenapa..?? masih ada rasa Sakit..
Ketika aku sadar, Kalau aku sudah jauuuuh terlempar dari dunianya…
Dunia seseorang yang aku sayang, Ya.. aku sangat menyayanginya








Aku hanya akan duduk diam.. Menatap Pelangi itu..
Yang masih membuat aku terpesona..
Yang cuma bisa dilihat tanpa pernah bisa menyentuhnya..
Meski harus menyewa helikopter yang bisa menerbangkan aku kesana, he.. he.. ( emang punya duit apa?? )

Yaaa.. Intinya begitulah pembaca, aku hanya bisa menatap PELANGI itu dari jauh.

Terlalu banyak kupu kupu yang ingin terbang di dekatnya.. Sementara aku sadar tak punya sayap seindah kupu kupu yang mengelilingi pelangi itu…

Semoga Pelangi itu akan selalu mewarnai langit dengan gradasi warna indah yang dimilikinya.. Semoga Pelangi itu tetap akan muncul seusai hujan sehingga aku masih bisa menatap pantulan warna indahnya

Semoga Pelangi itu selalu bisa memberi keceriaan pada setiap orang yang menatapnya....

• Thanks for being My sunshine of the rain..
  

• Thanks for being cure against my fear and my pain
  

• Thanks for being so wonderful you.. (T_T)
  

Regard's...

Regard's...

now im starting 2 wonder...
what will conclusion be? what will happen in the end of everything ? does he take this seriously?
hufftt....................

I just need to feel like someone wants to put me first, someone wants to put some focus and attention on me, on making me happy, on seeing me smile, on loving me. But then I think how can anyone do that when I am not loving myself right now. It's all a front. Low self esteem is happening to me RIGHT NOW.

How do I get out of this? Who can I talk to? I don't want anyone, even my closest friends, to know I'm suffering from the same things I always tell them don't matter. I'm looking at the other chicks, the other ones that always seem to go before me thinking I'm not pretty enough, light skinned enough, slim enough, interesting enough, educated enough, ethnic enough. What am I then? I feel like a nothing.

My heart knows no bounds. It gives without question or reason of why. It pours forth all that it has, love in unwavering abundance and all only for you. It has no fear, it matters not that it could be hurt, wounded, or devastated by changing events, times, or circumstances - it only knows that its source of life is you and will forever enrich your life so that it might someday be complete. On it’s own my heart has the innocence of a new born wanting, needing, and only understanding you - and without comprehension of the world around it.

My heart if left to its own devices would crawl in the world search for you and when it reached your door it would never see an obstacle in its way… it would just take you for eternity.I am so truly thankful that you were intrigue enough by my practice distance and kept probing for a desirable responsible. I am even more thankful for you not running away ‘fast’ when you chipped through the layers of built up armor and found the well of repressed passion deep inside just dying to be shared.

I know this from my heart to be true, as I have spent so long on a road leading nowhere,

No interests or desires, no wants or needs, neither asking or needing from anyone.
So alone, yet never knowing loneliness, I knew not that something was missing from my life, until you,
I have come to understand, you have made me understand that life must be shared or is no life at all.
A whisper caught my ear, ever so faintly, a whisper of your name entered my life… never to disappear.

If you've just had a break-up and are feeling down, you're not alone. Just about everyone experiences a break-up at sometime, and many then have to deal with heartbreak — a wave of grief, anger, confusion, low self-esteem, and maybe even jealousy all at once. Millions of poems and songs have been written about having a broken heart and wars have even been fought because of heartbreak.

A journey of grief - losing a soulmate and the path to emotional stability. This is a daily journal of thoughts, sadness, bewilderment, joy, frustration and pain as a therapeutic way to express and release. Please feel free to comment, because then I know someone is out there. And that also helps............